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Post by Raccoonstar on Feb 5, 2011 18:47:14 GMT -6
WINDPAW You keep me in check, keep my dark demons at bay, by only using your words...how do you do it without destroying my soul? Windpaw looked around nervously. All of IvyClan was bustling about, busying themselves with mindless tasks. He took a deep breath in, and out, knowing what had to be done. He had to see her. The Gatherings never really ended well, but this time he had told her. The rumors of the attack on SnakeClan had started to dissolve in the mist of gossip as new rumors rose, but Windpaw still heard fragments of sentences about it. But he had told her. He had saved her, perhaps, but he had told her. Tigerstar's nightmare training had been harsher than usual this week, and Windpaw himself was to blame. He had betrayed IvyClan. And he was going to do it again. He padded out of camp, at first toward the dirtplace to avoid suspicion, but then fled toward the SnakeClan border. He was going to see Eveningpaw again. Just to feed his own addiction to her. An addiction he couldn't fight. He padded up to the border, trying to sniff her out, to single her out, to find her. She searched for her luxurious gray pelt, her beautiful ice-blue eyes...she was the picture of beauty, in a form that he was surprised that no other SnakeClanner had taken her first. He wondered, as his eyes whipped from side to side looking for her, if she loved him back. He was sure it was love now, and he liked it. The warm, fuzzy feeling he got inside, his heart quickening at every word, then relaxing when he realized he didn't have to try so hard. Everything went fast, then slow. His heart beat, his twitching, his blood pressure. Fast and slow. Speeding up with every attempted word he tried to choke out when she was around, and slowing down when they touched. Time itself seemed to halt when they touched. Paw to paw, pelt to pelt, even just a simple tail to tail. Windpaw was lost in his daydream when he saw her. Her beauty snapped him out of his dream and back into reality. "Hey, Eveningpaw! Windpaw whispered urgently, "Um...get over here...? Come on!" He beckoned her over with his tail, and crept into a clearing. He sat, patiently awaiting Eveningpaw. When he closed his eyes, all he could see was her, in her blue-eyed beauty. He snapped himself out of this one. Couldn't be daydreaming with his gray-furred love coming, could he? |
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Post by - - -evening || on Feb 5, 2011 19:31:19 GMT -6
Deep in a trance.
The mellow darkness
was encrusted around her,
she was falling
into that bleary form of darkness.
Help me, Help me
she called.
Help... When once a dream is done..
what does a dream mean
to thy in once upon thy Heavens? Account of Eveningpaw.
She awoke from her dream, a thin layer of sweat upon her brow. What had happened? She was quite shaken, to be frank, very shaken. She was shievering in her pile of moss, though it was quite warm out. She tried to recall her dream. All she could remember, was that she was...falling, and she was scared immensley.
It was quarter to midnight. And she was restless. She didn't know what to do, looking upon the sleeping faces of her friends --color rising to her cheeks as she glanced at the sleeping face of Falconcry; but she shook the thought away. Hazelfrost loved Falconcry, and Falconcry her, she would never have a chance. She laughed inwardly at what Hazelfrost would say if she even tried to seduce Falconcry. She could only imagine. Sighing, she treaded lightly over her denmate's sleeping bodies, all their minds at rest. Everyone in the camp was asleep, breathing lightly.
The cold chilly night wind hit her fur, although it wasn't exactly uncomfortable. It seemed more, beconing so. She had nothing better to do than to follow it, and she found her paws carring her across the terretory, the wind ripping her pelt, and her ears flapping. She didn't understand why she was here. It wasn't like anyone wanted to meet her, really. She closed her eyes as her paws took her to the border --no matter what, she wouldn't cross the border. What border was it anyway? She opened her eyes to the sight of the moon shining above her, and the trees thining away. A cat stood a few fox-lengths in front of her, and her heart jumped to her throat. An assasin?
"Hey, Eveningpaw!" the assasin yelled. She smiled, humored by the thought. It wasn't an assasin, merely Windpaw. He had an urgent whisper to his voice --was something wrong? She turned towards him "Um...get over here...? Come on!" Okay, okay, she thought impatently, what could be so urgent?
As she padded up to him, she looked into his eyes, and gasped from the shock:
Deep in a trance. The mellow darkness was encrusted around her, she was falling into that bleary form of darkness. Help me, Help me she called. Help... Suddenly, a paw reached out and she could feel a strong grasp at her neck. She was pulled up out of the darkness, and back onto flat land. She looked up into the face of her savior, and all she could see were his eyes, surronded by a faint shadow, finally fading away into a deep blackness.
She stared at Windpaw, her mouth following up into a silent "o" shape. His eyes --her saviors eyes. The sapphire..they were the same...the same, warm, and dark..but warm...they were one and the same --it- she gasped. "Windpaw...." she shook herself awake, no time to be daydreaming, it was just a dream...just a dream.. [/justify][/color] |
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Post by Raccoonstar on Feb 5, 2011 20:32:22 GMT -6
WINDPAW Gazing into your eyes, I can see the whole world flashing, the warmth and the sorrow closing upon those ice-blue pools of light... Windpaw smiled blissfully. Eveningpaw approached, carefully at first, as if he were some sort of threat, then warmly approaching. She stared at him as if they were in some sort of dream state; a daydream if Windpaw ever knew one. What could those icy blue eyes hold in their dreamy state? What was she thinking when she looked at him, and when he looked at her. But then her dreamy state snapped back to reality, only an 'o' shape made by her mouth to hold the memory of whatever her mind had previously held. She silently gazed into his sapphire eyes with her own, and for a minute they stayed in a blissful harmony of heart and soul. Eveningpaw gasped, shattering the moment into a thousand invisible pieces. 'Windpaw....' she had said, still half-dreaming. Eveningpaw shook herself awake, shattering the final parts of the daydream. Whatever she had dreamed about, it was gone now. Windpaw still gazed warmly into his love's beautiful ice-blue eyes, and couldn't choke out a single word for several minutes. During that precious time of silence, his heart sped up until it made his head buzz with the rush. Windpaw took a few deep breaths; in...and out...in...and out; and his own sapphire eyes flitted away. Grudgingly, like they didn't want to break the moment. "Hi, Eveningpaw..." Windpaw meowed timidly, "I'm sorry if I broke you away from some thought, it's just that...I really needed to see you. I...missed you. Everything has gone so wrong since the Gathering...I just had to see you. Um...have you told Raccoonstar? About the...um...attack?" Small talk. How history mocked him by repeating itself. It wasn't exactly 'small' conversation, though; SnakeClan security was on the line here. But it would do. Windpaw wasn't too good with conversations. One of his many, many flaws. Then a thought occurred. Should I tell her about killing Lightningstrike and Reedtail? I killed them. Well, Flamepaw helped with Lightningstrike, but I killed Reedtail. All on my own. Without much provocation. I killed her. With my own claws... Windpaw's eyes flitted to his claws, as if he'd find the blood of Reedtail and Lightningstrike on them. He had killed both of them. How would she take it? Would she leave him? OK, Windpaw decided inwardly, I won't let her know yet. But I will tell her. It's the right thing to do, right? Right? Windpaw left his thoughts hanging on that thread of a question, and turned his gaze back to Eveningpaw. Her beauty melted away the questions nagging his inner mechanisms, and his breaths slowed, getting more relaxed, and much deeper. But that one question still clung on to the edges of his mind. What will she do when I tell her that I killed them? OOC: Windpaw sure thinks a lot! I love how I have developed his character over the months since he was created. First, he was basically Rivershadow, (before fallen got her writing injected into him, of course), then he became a victim of Tigerstar's evilness, then he became a killer, then a friend to Flamepaw (though that and 'killer' don't seem too different), and now this! I bet that six months ago, if I was put in this situation, I'd have him trying to attack Eveningpaw! Sigh...memories... |
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Post by - - -evening || on Feb 5, 2011 22:30:47 GMT -6
"Hi, Eveningpaw...
I'm sorry if
I broke you away from some thought,
it's just that...
I really needed
to see you. I...
missed you.
Everything has gone
so wrong since the Gathering...
I just had to see you." When once a dream is done..
what does a dream mean
to thy in once upon thy Heavens? Account of Eveningpaw.
She shook herself awake to hear those words, those words that would transfer back into her protective soul. This was wrong...very, utteraly wrong; but she didn't have the courage to take another step back. She was here now, and that was where she was going to stay. Stay...stay, the wind whispered to her, Come, stay with me...staaaay, eeeeeve-ennnning. Stay? Should she, when everything was so wrong? Stay, leave, what? She turned to the grey cat, her eyes shifting from welcoming to 'go away now or I shall rip you head of' --hot and cold.
Flailing, only his voice could bring her back, and she grasped the meaning of what he said..tell Raccoonstar...? Oh! She nodded twice, "Yes, I-I told him...he wanted to know why, er, how I knew, but I just said that I overheard it at a gathering." she looked up at him, wonder on her face, "Wh-why did you tell me,....Windpaw?"
ooc;; prob meh worst post eveh >.<
. [/justify][/color] |
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Post by Raccoonstar on Feb 7, 2011 22:02:40 GMT -6
WINDPAW Snapping me back to reality, when I was only dreaming of you... Windpaw's voice caught in his throat. Her icy eyes kept flashing, hostile to warm, hostile to warm. Windpaw felt threatened by this change in her mood. Her eyes, when they turned so cold is almost burned him with their frosty glare, they seemed so...unlike her. So impossibly wrong. But then they flashed back to warmth, the gaze he was so used to. But he asked himself one question, and lost himself in the dark void of every word. Will this gaze return when I tell her that I killed them? He fell into the darkness of the words, the light vanishing from the world. He seemed to be falling forever, when some timid words brought him back. A timid grip pulled him out of the darkness, where light flooded his eyes... The light darkened to the forest. Eveningpaw, his savior, his love, had pulled him out and was talking, her sweetly timid voice saying something about Raccoonstar...Raccoonstar! She had told him. Windpaw's eyes lost their confused and lost glaze and focused on Eveningpaw's quiet voice. He had focused just in time, because a question had started to form that would hang in the air for a virtual eternity. "Wh-why did you tell me...Windpaw?" The question made his throat close just as it had before, but he did not have the luxury of losing himself in the darkness of the words. No, he had to keep his conscious mind alert to the fact that he had no credible answer. The silence seemed to choke him, to hold him by the neck and dangle him over an unending pit of despair and unanswerable questions. But, at the same time, keeping him there, in the clearing, to watch Eveningpaw's expression. Then, a bird of some sort, maybe a robin or blue jay, sang out a long chirp, and Windpaw suddenly had the answer. "I..I told you because..." Windpaw started, the words beginning to slip away into that unending pit of darkness, "I told you because...I thought I would lose you. Those snakes...they would have killed a lot of cats in your Clan. And I thought I would lose you to them. Lose you to my leader's act. And it would have been my fault if I hadn't said anything. And...I can't live without you, Eveningpaw. I need you to survive." The last words hung on his jaws, as if hesitant to escape the confusing labyrinth of his mind. "I need you because...I...I...I...love you...Eveningpaw. Time froze. The birds in the sky halted in midair, the leaves ceased their rustling, the sky stopped short in its tracks. It was just him and Eveningpaw, gazing into each other's blue eyes. Windpaw into her icy blue, her into his sapphire. He swam in the icy blue pools of her eyes, unaware that he was peering into her soul. He shielded himself from that. He couldn't know if she was going to reject him. It would be...a surprise. How kit-like that sounded, how unlike himself to want a surprise. But Eveningpaw was out of the question. He couldn't peer too deep into her soul. He was afraid of what he'd find. In her eyes, it could be anything. |
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Post by - - -evening || on Feb 7, 2011 23:23:41 GMT -6
I was frozen
in my own destiny
because it was impossible
for this
to happen.
How would I not
be scared;
how could
i not be frightened.
Everything was
wrong.
Yet, perfectly
right. What would thus mean,
to say that thus was once a lover and then a killer? Account of Eveningpaw.
Why did he tell her? They were rivals, he had no right! He was betraying his clan --or was she a fool to listen to him, was this a setup? She narrowed her eyes, no, he would..would never do anything like that --would he? Her mind jumped to when they first met, the anger and ambition in his eyes, the look to kill. She was suddenly uncertain, and she her senses were suddenly wide open.
The grass was swaying back in forth in the night breeze, the moon, directly above them. It was evident, of the every crease and fold in the moon, every StarClan warrior in the sky, looking down on her in distaste. Paws padded the ground as a FrostClan cat was out on a late-night hunt. Crickets chirping simultaneously. Fish leap in and out of the water. She can feel him drawing near, his expression one of...pity? Sadness? No. One who has wanted to say something for a while, something he has held back. She watched the grey coat stalk up to her, his eyes, as if intent on prey, and yet, strangely soft? Yes. Soft. She couldn't understand it, what was he doing? "I..I told you because..." Windpaw hesitated, as if he wasn't sure to go on, but in treason, he did. "I told you because...I thought I would lose you. Those snakes...they would have killed a lot of cats in your Clan. And I thought I would lose you to them. Lose you to my leader's act. And it would have been my fault if I hadn't said anything. what? He was going to fast, she couldn't catch yup! Bewildered, all she could do was listen, "And...I can't live without you, Eveningpaw. I need you to survive." The last words, proved to be the hardest, he had to litterally force them out, and as Eveningpaw knew what he was going to say, she could react fast enough to stop him "I need you because...I...I...I...love you...Eveningpaw." There. It was out, why he was acting so strange lately, why he had told her about the attack, it explained so many things.
She wasn't sure what to do --run, hide, tell him...tell him...tell him what? That she loved him? Did she? She wasn't sure..she blushed. And hesitantly walked up to him. "Do you really love me, Windpaw? Do I really mean that much to you?" somehow, she just couldn't believe it.
[/justify][/color] |
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Post by Raccoonstar on Feb 7, 2011 23:47:46 GMT -6
WINDPAW Save yourself, it's too late for me. I'm already destined to choke on the ashes of those who's lives I have destroyed... The sky was still frozen in time, the birds with the same status. The moon, hanging distastefully in the night, scorned him, in both shadows and light. Tigerstar might have been up there, scorning in the darkness of the midnight moon, but Windpaw didn't care about that. He cared about what was happening in front of him. Eveningpaw, questioning his love, turning him against himself. Did he love her wasn't the question. Of course he did. Could he was the dark question that hung him over that pit of despair he was so used to seeing in his nightmares, But now it was here, shocking him out of reality and into a nightmare that seemed to never end. But all the while, he was there, stuck speechless and dumbstruck at the simplest of questions. But then, just like before, he was dragged out of the dark pit with answers that seemed to flood his mind with light. He stared into her eyes, his gaze suddenly firmer than he felt. His sapphire eyes cleared with concentration, and finally, he had the words he needed to say, right here, right now. "Eveningpaw. When we met, you didn't trust me, and I didn't trust you. We were in two separate Clans, and had no chance of being with each other. Now, we are going out of our ways to see one another, just to be with one another, just to touch each other's fur and entwine our tails. This is an action that could only be brought on by love..." Windpaw firmly meowed. He took a deep breath, the next words so unlike his previous stutters, so firm and unlike how he felt. "It could only be brought on by the love I feel for you. Eveningpaw of SnakeClan, I love you as much as I can. But...you cannot love me. Not just because we are in different Clans. No. I have sinned against StarClan's laws, and they cannot forgive me. I...killed a cat. I killed one of my own Clan, and you cannot love a murderer." Windpaw's eyes teared up, and he couldn't look at her any more. He fled the clearing, into a smaller one farther into IvyClan, away from her ears, and yowled out his hatred to the dark, unfrozen sky. Everything he ever knew tore away before him as he fell, his voice hoarse from screaming his rage and anguish to the stars, his eyes puffy and glazed with sadness. He watched himself as a young kit, so happy and cheerful, and then saw the image explode into a thousand glittering pieces. Gone. He saw himself in dreams, fighting and training under Tigerstar's ambitious form, and it too exploded into fire. Then, he saw himself pulling the final blow onto Reedtail's bleeding body, and that image stuck in his mind for several torturous seconds, then it burst into a hellish flame. And then, there was quiet. An image of himself with Eveningpaw, the night where he had nuzzled her and stayed with her until daybreak. That image forced itself into his brain and would not let go. His only good memory. He pulled himself up out of his raging despair, and scented for Eveningpaw. Was she still there? He hoped he'd hear her coming for him, to do something, to not just leave him like this. He turned his back on her, his fragile barrier between his body falling again and being racked with sobs and the firmness he had felt before shattering. Silver tears fell to the ivy-ridden ground, one by one, wetting the earth below. He longed for her, he hoped for her, but would she appear? He was broken. He didn't deserve her. He was a broken killer who deserved to be thrown headfirst into that hole of darkness. And as he had yowled his hatred and despair into the stars above, they would never forgive him. He was destined for the Dark Forest. Destined for hell. And she was a pure soul who would surely be accepted into StarClan's godly ranks. He was an evil cat. And no one would ever forgive him. But still he waited, hoping for her, hoping that maybe, just maybe, he'd get a chance to do good. To be saved from that dark future. Maybe his broken figure could be...fixed. Maybe he didn't have to be so alone in this world. |
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