Back at Camp (Moved to territory)

[fαllεη •]

this truth drives me into madness...

'Filling the great cat's pawsteps, of course. I should've guessed.'
What had possessed him to say that?! The bitterness in his own tone surprised even the dark-minded tom. And now he watched helplessly as her face dissolved into (well-deserved!) anger. But the ferocity of her response surprised even him.

"You should know, since you always have ambitions."

If he had seen that written down, hadn't been able to hear the venom behind those words, he might have laughed and simply turned his back on her, as he was wont to do whenever his apathetic attitude frustrated other cats. He grimaced, refusing to allow her any further response. But he couldn't understand why what he'd said had gotten her goat so badly. The dark tom had never taken Spottedwing for an ambitious cat, least of all ambition towards a position that she could only take if... Well, if her beloved mentor was dead.
Those golden eyes looked as if their owner was ready to rip his head clean off. And, strangely enough, he was more comfortable with this than the sweet, syrupy talk she'd been giving him earlier. This was familiar ground.

She fairly hurled the finch back between his paws, reminding him... Hells, what had she wanted from him! No-one talked to a cat just to talk nowadays, did they? She had to want something from him, if this was how she reacted to a simple snide comment. Look, there she was, turning her back on him! And all he could do was stand rigid, his face a twisted mess of strange emotions that he didn't even remember feeling. Fear, loss, sorrow... And anger, of course that was there. Who wouldn't be angry when a single comment (even one not entirely innocent) was turned into a forest-fire by one she-cat! Now he could understand what Lakepelt meant when he said that she-cats were complicated. He hadn't expected this from Seastar's apprentice, hadn't expected it even when just thinking of her as Spottedwing.

"You'll never know!"
Now what? He finally got to his paws, his tail lashing from side to side and his ears flat. Never know? He knew plenty! Her first lesson? How to not over-react!
"You are lucky! You are lucky and take what you had for granted! I've never had the chance to be with someone I love, and be loved in return. You had two chances."
Take it for granted? Oh, now Spottedwing was just asking for it. His heart was beating so fast he felt it might explode, though exactly when it had ramped off the scale would be impossible to say.
"I have taken nothing for granted!" he spat, still trying to maintain his composure. "You've never lost, have you? What's a mother compared to the cat you thought you'd spend your life with, or the cat who put you back together?" Whoever said it was better to have loved and lost was entirely wrong, or if they weren't, they'd never lost twice. There were many adjectives that Rivershadow could use to describe himself, but 'ungrateful' would never have even crossed his mind. Sure, he hadn't thanked her magical StarClan every day for giving him two wonderful, amazing she-cats and then ripping them away from him. Was he suppose to thank them for the lost of Streampaw too? Or for every little bruise his mentor had given him, or every breath he took?
Rhetorical questions, all of them, and yet he wanted answers so badly, to know if she could justify this sudden attack. She'd been lucky not to have loved. She was the ungrateful one. He'd never wish this fate on anyone, and two chances... two chances that he'd failed.

"You'll never know what it's like to love someone and have them push you aside like you're nothing. I know this feeling better than anyone!"
He didn't have to listen to this. The realisation was as crystal and as welcome as a newleaf rain: he didn't have to be here. But for some reason, he couldn't bring himself to move. In fact, he sat back down on the leaves. Heavily.
"Every day I'm reminded of it. At this very moment in fact."
Wait one minute.
She... love... The words pieced themselves together in his head, and he didn't like the picture on the puzzle. To say the fire went out of him would not be accurate, but the fact that something clicked and others were pushed aside would be more accurate. This was too much emotion to handle in one sitting. He'd kept his anger under careful lock and key for moons, had always been smooth and blank as a flat chunk of shale, had never been truly angry, only every snappy and blunt --and those had only been in cases like Ashfur, babbling on about his apprentice and mentor-hood as if the young warrior knew anything about teaching.

His voice cracked as he tried to speak. "Are you insane?" This was the first real conversation he'd ever had with her, and it... OK, it hadn't been going well. But conversations with him never went well, and his snappy dismissal of Ashfur should've been at least one clue to her. But before he could finish the thought, she was climbing the nearest tree... Which happened to be the one that they had been sitting under. She finally turned back towards him, and he caught a glimpse of the tears on her cheeks, the tears she'd been hiding. And then she leapt into the branches and was hidden by foliage. 'Oh no. You're not getting away from this!'

He threw himself at the tree, his dark claws digging into the bark and catching the fading light. Then something warm and angry crashed into him, and he fell hard onto the ground.
"How dare you!?" launched itself at his ears, and he thought with exasperation, 'Oh, not another crying she-cat!' If StarClan would help him here, he might even start believing.
Pushing the white cat off him, he recognised Iceglade, looking utterly furious. He felt his pelt fluff up with fury, and made no attempt to make it lie flat. What did she think she was doing?!
"After all she's gone through, did you even hear a word she said? Is your brain thick enough to let nothing penetrate that huge skull of yours?"
Rivershadow tried to make sense of the ragged sentence, but couldn't make it make sense. He should run right now, far away from these crazy, emotional she-cats. Then he suddenly saw claws coming at his left cheek.
"You insult my friend, I insult your face!"
A silent hiss of pain twisted his face as claws seared four deep, thick cuts down his face. "Foxdung!" he spat, taking a few steps back and shaking his head to try and clear his vision. His thoughts were exploding with the agony in his cheek, and he could feel blood soaking through his fur. She'd gotten him good: not just a clawless slap, which would have bruised him, but with all her claws out. Then he levelled his dark eyes and shook his head at her, disgust and pain clouding his eyes. Anger was strangely absent from his expression. Then, without another word, he turned towards the tree and, in spite of the burning pain in his cheek, dug his own claws into the bark and climbed slowly, painfully, after Spottedwing.

I know I can stop the pain if I will it all away.

---

OOC; Well, this dissolved into drama fairly quickly. *Eyeroll*
Heh heh, Rivershadow's coming after her! XD Look out, he's armed with an apology, and he doesn't know how to use it!

[Seafeather]

Spottedwing

As much as Rivershadow hurt her, Spottedwing couldn't make herself cheer for her friend. In fact, she wanted to stop the fight. But it felt as if every fiber of her being willed itself to not move. Iceglade got him, and got him good.

"You insult my friend, I insult your face!" She screamed. Spottedwing's eyes grew wide. She had never, never seen Iceglade this mad before. She ceased to fight and Rivershadow took advantage of the break and climbed the same tree as Spottedwing. Same tree?! Spottedwing got up to move but he spoke first before she could do anything.

"Hold it," he said. Not with anger, or pity, or even revenge. Spottedwing had never heard this tone from him, never.

OCC: Sorry for the shortness!! I have to leave for school in 2 minutes. lol! Yes it has Fallen! lol and I never meant for it to be like this. Shows what tom-cats can do! lol

[fαllεη •]

don't turn away...

His claws dug deep into the bark as he climbed, mercifully taking his mind off of what he was actually going to say to this distraught she-cat. He didn't have anything that he could give her, no gesture of heroics. He just had an apology. And a malformed one at that. 'Not exactly an apology worth climbing a tree for.'
Sure, he was a cat: this was what cats did. Climb trees, obey the great ancestors, yadda yadda yadda. But nonetheless, it seemed going a little far to climb a tree just to say he was sorry. And then his thoughts drifted back to the irate Iceglade on the ground, whose tearing his cheek open was making this climb much slower and much more painful. His expression had gone slack just to accommodate the four stripes, leaking blood down the side of his face. How much had Iceglade heard, anyway? And why (more importantly) hadn't he noticed her?!

And there she was, sitting on a branch, her expression entirely unreadable, as if she'd wiped her face clean before he arrived. Of course, his brain felt a little muddled and so she could be snarling with fury right now --he wasn't quite registering much.
He wasn't out of breath from the climb, but he did take a deep breath before beginning. He wanted to snap at her, tell her what a fool she was being and that he hadn't meant anything by that: it was just a flippant comment. He might not remember training with her, bur surely she had some memory of his black temperament before now? She'd really set herself up for a fall, trying to fall in love with him. Only trouble was, he thought that she was the only one jumping.

He had to settle himself on a branch opposite Spottedwing: she was occupying the strongest one, and the dark tom swore he could feel his swaying with the breeze. His dark... well, everything, allowed him to slip perfectly into the shadows of the coming darkness. Only the slightly paler outline of his pelt and the glinting of his eyes as the leaves shifted could let you suspect that there was a cat sitting there. Oh, and maybe also the fact that it was about to speak.
"Hold it." He shuffled nervously on the branch, his tail waving behind him as his claws dug in. "Look, I... I'm... Oh come on." Hissing with exasperation, he paused, looking for the apology that just wasn't coming.
"You're running from me up a tree. What are you, a kit?"
Oh dear, what was he going to say. Iceglade was down there, and Spottedwing wasn't the only she-cat he'd have to satisfy to get out of this mess alive. He was sorry, but to apologise to her now... She'd be expecting a lick on the cheek or some confession of love. It had been... different... to talk to someone after all this time. But time was an unforgiving mistress, and Rivershadow had consigned himself to her embrace long ago. He simply couldn't give her what she wanted from him now, aside from empty words. Mind you, StarClan was an empty word, and yet all the clans believed in them. Maybe he could give Spottedwing something similar. Here he was again, looking for words that would mean something to her, content her with what she'd gathered. He didn't want to hurt her. There had to be something he could say.

All this while his face was twisted into confusion, and even if she were able to see through the patchy darkness there wasn't much for her to read on his face. But his tone softened into pleading, a smooth fade from the frustration of his first blurted words.
"I didn't mean it. I mean, after Seastar I'm sure you'd be the next great thing." This didn't sound quite apologetic enough --but wait, FrostClan already had a deputy! "Or after Cedarwing," he added quickly, flicking his ears nervously, knowing that this wasn't what she wanted to hear. The stinging in his cheek was moving towards his eyes too, and he blinked several times in an attempt to clear them, tail still waving, but now with a pronounced flick of apprehension to the motion. He knew he should find something else to say to her, but his cheek --Damn Iceglade! Why were they overreacting so badly? Now he had even more reason not to like the pair of them...
But if he disliked them so much, why was he trying to apologise for just being his usual self?

don't try to hide.

[Seafeather]

Spottedwing

Spottedwing heard Rivershadow trying to steady himself on a branch. He was much to big for this. She made her face into an unreadable mask, showing nothing, only incomprehension. She took a glance at his dark face, four ragged cuts streaked across his cheek. "All of this because of me," she thought. "Why always me?" Tears flooded her vision and she had to lie low on her branch, for the fear of falling was eminent.

"You're running from me up a tree. What are you a kit?" He sounded exasperated. He wasn't furious, angry, or even mad. He was simply...less than annoyed but he chased after her. But to what extent will he chase her for? Spottedwing smiled at herself. She was acting like a kit. A kit who didn't get their way, or didn't get to go outside because of the rain.

"Maybe," she whispered. The wind that blew the leaves, and rocked the branch she was on blew away her words. Irretrievable.
"I didn't mean it. I mean, after Seastar I'm sure you'd be the next great thing." He stumbled on his words. Why wasn't he ignoring her like he did everyone else? She expected him to turn tail and flee when she climbed the tree, but instead, he climbed up after her. And he was actually, genuinely, trying to apologize. But was it genuine enough? "Or after Cedarwing," Spottedwing truly realized what he was trying to say. In a nice, quiet way of telling her, you won't be able to be leader, the generation lines are to close. Spottedwing often thought about this, but it never occurred to her that the deputy would have to die before Seastar would in order for her to be leader. She didn't want that, not one bit.

"I can't do it anymore..." she mumbled. "All of this wishful thinking is going nowhere. I understand you now Rivershadow, I can't be the leader of FrostClan. Seastar and Cedarwing would have to die. I don't want that," The words came, and they stopped. She had nothing else to say. Everything was relinquished in those statements. They only thing she needed was comfort, and the kind of comfort only a mate could give. A pelt brushed against hers, she looked up to see a beautiful, starry, she-cat with a golden pelt standing by her.

"Tell him I will always love him, and he needs to move on. You are truly his, tell him to not be afraid of loosing someone else, and we won't be upset with him. Give him our love." Goldenheart...she faded away with the echo of her voice ringing inside her head. What is she going to tell Rivershadow?! He'll just think she's a loon dying to be his mate. But..would he listen if she told him?

[fαllεη •]

so stand in the rain...

Rivershadow shifted awkwardly on his branch as Seafeather lay down on her branch. If he hadn't known better, he would've said that there were tears in her eyes. Actually, he did know better, and they were tears. 'She-cats.' The mental hiss was, like his earlier statement, more exasperation than anything else. With toms, it was simple. You could sit in the corner of the camp for your whole life and not be interrupted once ever, but with she-cats... He despaired of ever understanding those creatures.

He watched as she mumbled something, but it was stolen away before he could decipher what she said. It only looked like one syllable. Whatever it was, she didn't seem about to repeat it for his benefit.

"I can't do it anymore..."
Rivershadow shivered at her words... or maybe it was the wind, penetrating his thin fur. "All of this wishful thinking is going nowhere." She was coming to her senses? He breathed a silent sigh of relief. Maybe now they could just climb down the tree now and go back to being normal cats. Of course, he couldn't sleep in the warriors' den tonight, not after this. What would the rest of the clan think? Not that he cared, of course.
"I understand you now Rivershadow, I can't be the leader of FrostClan. Seastar and Cedarwing would have to die. I don't want that."
He tried to settle himself onto the branch, glancing down at where he thought Iceglade was, far below. The bitterness -sadness? loss?- would surely hurt Spottedwing's friend as badly as the cut on his cheek. What he wasn't prepared for was the same feeling. But he brushed it off quickly. This hadn't been what he'd hoped her to react like. She was supposed to be complimented by his clumsy attempt!
He fumbled for the right words. "No, no. That's not it." And then he felt a strange warmth brush past him. Spottedwing seemed to have felt it too, because she was no longer looking at him, but at something on the branch next to her, hidden by the tree. Maybe it was a squirrel who hadn't seen them in the darkness, and Spottedwing was about to catch it? The expression on her face said surprise more than a hunter's concentration, though. He coughed gently, trying to bring her back to... well, he didn't particularly want to bring her back to looking at him: not with those eyes, so round and empty. How had he managed to crush this cat so badly?

"Spottedwing... there's no reason you couldn't be leader. Even if Cedarwing still becomes leader, he's pretty old, so you..." That was even worse. Why did he even open his big mouth? 'Stop. Digging.' He tried a different tact, looking at the bark under his paws as if daring it to tell him that he was going about this all wrong.
"I mean, being leader's not the only thing in life, right?" he meowed, shrugging his shoulders, pretending not to care. "You're a great warrior. Even if you can't be leader, there are loads of cats who are jealous of you." 'Like me,' he almost added. He was making things up off the top of his head; anything to get her to understand that he wasn't trying to crush her dreams like some IvyClan kit-murdering scum.

stand your ground.

[- - -evening ||]

[glow=Teal,2,300]ICEGLADE[/glow]

.:I Believe in What I see, Not the Other Way Around:.

-Climb the Damn Tree...-

For all in her luck, Spottedwing just had to climb a tree, she just had to! Iceglade clawed the tree furiously. Urg! She was probably the only FrostClan cat that couldn't climb trees! She stared up at the two. How dare Rivershadow, after all he had done, climb up the tree after her? She flexed her claws, his dried blood caked on her paws and covering her claws with its shiny liquid. Now that, was something she could call satisfying! She just wished she had had enough time to do more permanent damage to his face before he ran off.
Curses, the damn tree again! She ran and jumped at the tree, clawing with her hind legs, trying to push herself up.....and then she fell down, her hind legs twisting under her.
"OW!" she yowled. Urg, i shouldn't of done that, a can't who can't climb a tree? Pathetic!

Well, she would stay down and wait to rip his face of down here,but meanwhile, while they talk, she could see Spottedwing getting angrier and angrier, and then more flustered every time he said something.
Eyes wide, she knew Spottedwing was going to make her move.

"Tell 'em how you feel! Tell 'em how you really feel, Spottedwing!" she whispered excited now, all her anger draining away. Oh, she loved good love stories!

Rivershadow started talking again, and she listened intensely to what he was saying. "leader....jelous...," huh? If only she could climb that tree! She waited, like she was watching a comedy, for Spottedwing to make her next move.

She was really enjoying this now!

-And Show Your True Self-

OOC: sorry it's so short and for the slight swearing, it just fit. Btw, i dont like swearing, and i dont do it often, unless it fits with something...yeah, i can change it if u want....

[Seafeather]

Spottedwing

"I mean, being leader's not the only thing in life, right?" Spottedwing watched as Rivershadow squirmed on his branch. "You're a great warrior. Even if you can't be leader, there are loads of cats who are jealous of you." He had said something earlier about Cedarwing being old but Spottedwing didn't want to think of that, especially with the good news he had just told her.

"You...you think I'm a good warrior?" Hope surged through Spottedwing. Curiosity killed the cat with her next question. "Do you...like me Rivershadow?" Everything stopped in that one moment, seized by terror, Spottedwing was frozen in her spot.

[fαllεη •]

thanks for the memories...

"You... you think I'm a good warrior?"
Relief surged through him as he heard the hope in her voice. 'She's not crying any more!' He'd finally done something right! Anxious to keep her spirits up, a relieved grin slid across his face and he nodded, reaffirming his statement.
"Of course! You're the best, and all of FrostClan knows it." He was being completely honest: there was no need for empty flattery here. After all, she had to be doing something right to have become a warrior moons early.

He was just about to suggest jumping down the tree and going to bed (maybe 'accidentally' landing on Iceglade in the process?) when he noticed she was going to speak again.
"Do you... like me, Rivershadow?"
Rivershadow's face froze in shock. Declarations of love, prefixed by tears and screaming? Even the memory cut as bad as Iceglade's claws. If that was her great and wonderful plan to get him to reciprocate her love or something, she clearly had another thing coming. The shock quickly faded into horror, with anger hot on its heels. Who did she think she was anyway, showing off with her fancy knowledge about bird plucking? She shouldn't even be interested in him! She was the great warrior, Seastar's little kit, and he... had no ambitions, no plans. He didn't have anything to offer her, and after that frightening performance earlier, he wasn't sure he wanted to. Could you imagine being mated to a she-cat who might bite your head off at a moment's notice? Rivershadow didn't want to.
"Well, what do you think?" the grey tom meowed, a hiss masking his shock. "You certainly know how to show a tom a good time." He swiped a paw over the three gashes in his cheek. She expected a declaration of love, after screaming at him and insulting him? Fat chance of that happening. Any desire he'd had to comfort her was lost under the pure strangeness, the incomprehensible suddenness of her question. He didn't know what to think: he wanted to get out of this tree right now and never have to look at her ever again. This wasn't what he'd wanted: he'd just wanted her to smile!

He couldn't cope now, not with her looking at him like that. Not even bothering to return her gaze, he jumped from the tree and fell, that pleasant, second-long sensation of losing your stomach and forgetting everything before and after. Then he hit the ground, taking the impact neatly, not allowing it to disorient him as her question had done. He didn't even look back for Iceglade's benefit as he headed deeper into FrostClan's forest.

even though they weren't so great.

[Seafeather]

Spottedwing

I Am Alone. Just Like You.

Spottedwing stared in disbelief. "Well, what do you think?" He sneared. "You certainly know how to show a tom a good time." He touched his cheek with his paw and jumped from the tree. Not even bothering to look at her. Pain seared through her. It was almost to much to bear. He was long gone. No hope of him returning. He couldn't hear her now, didn't even want to.

"GAH!" She screamed. The sound rippled through her, and tore her to pieces. Her mind...it was going. Nothing could be put back, things were scrambling up. She didn't scream like she was just gutted, but she scream one of frustration and loss. And she continued her scream until she had no voice left. No one was there to comfort her, no one. Alone. Cold. And unwanted. Nothing hurt worse than being unwanted. Even the thought of having someone and loosing them was better than this. Because then...then you could look back on all the good times you had together. But what did she have? Nothing. Nothing but a mistake of her life. And...it wasn't her fault. Iceglade had followed her here, without Spottedwing's permission. "You," she muttered. Barely audible. She jumped from her branch and glared into Iceglade's blue eyes. "YOU!" She screeched. Her voice cracked and faltered. "Why," she moaned. "Why did you follow me, yell at him, and hurt him?" A silent, silver tear trailed down her cheek as she lay on the ground.

She cried quietly as she lay there. Alone. Cold. And unwanted.

[Kat]

Cedarwing

The sun slowly set behind Cedarwing as he carefully picked his way down the path home to camp. Two mice hung limp in his jaws as he anxiously awaited home, tempted to hurry. The cool leaf-fall weather had begun to seep through his fur to his skin, and he shivered. He rounded a bend in the path, only a little bit more until home, when he came across more cats.

He hadn't thought of scenting for other cats, mainly because he was in the heart of his territory and no one wanted to be out in this coldness if they didn't have to. He had come around the bend in time to hear Spottedwing yell.

"You!" Spottedwing had screeched. He thought he heard her say more, but he may have imagined it. Cedarwing rolled his eyes and sighed before running forward as Spottedwing crumbled at Iceglade's feet. He carefully set down his mice, and turned to Spottedwing. The she-cat seemed too attached to Seastar and had a hard time controlling her feelings. He didn't know Spottedwing well enough to know if his suspicions where true, however.

"Get up." He said, a little more harsh then intended. The only thing he wanted was to get into the warriors den and sleep. With dawn patrol this morning and hunting all through the day, he was cold and exhausted. The last thing he needed was two she-cats in a stupid fight.

He turned to Iceglade. "What is she talking about?" He paused for a moment, and saw her claw, wet with blood. With a harsher tone, he narrowed his eyes and hissed "and who's blood is that?!"

This was the last thing Cedarwing wanted. If he had known being deputy would mean having to take care of stupid relationship problems he would definitely have declined the position.

[Seafeather]

Kat, Spottedwing yelled only "You!" But the other stuff she said was very quiet and almost inaudible. ^-^ Just sayin!

[Kat]

oh sorry!!! ill change that...

[Seafeather]

Spottedwing

Spottedwing let herself be succumbed into darkness. She still felt pain, but was quite...numb. Everything she thought was real was fuzzy and unrecognizable. Images of her family and friends, her crushes and the ones she'd lost to other females or wars. She was in and out of consciousness and while in it, she heard soft paw steps. Then a familiar commanding voice.

"Get up," It said. Cedarwing. She couldn't hold on to consciousness for much longer so she gave in to the darkness. Again she woke and was comforted by a FrostClan pelt. She was laying on one. Laying? She looked around and found thatCedarwing had picked her up and carried her home.

"Let me up," She said. She didn't know if he had heard her because he didn't stop. "Let me up!" She said a little louder.

[Kat]

Cedarwing

Cedarwing watched as Spottedwing drifted into unconciousness. Great. He turned sharply to Iceglade. "Go to Seastar now and tell her about whatever you did. And tell her I'm coming with Spottedwing." He looked at his two mice he had worked so hard on getting, and turned to Iceglade again. "And bring those mice." He then bent down and carefully nudged Spottedwing onto his back. This was where his large size and great strength definitely came in handy. He began the walk back, now made longer and rougher. What was going on with these two? And who's blood was on Iceglade's claws? It wasn't Spottedwing, she didn't have any recent scratches on her. Cedarwing sighed and shook his head. Ridiculous.

Spottedwing woke up again, and mumbled something. Cedarwing couldn't quite make out what she said, until she repeated. "Let me up.

[/b] Cedarwing merely shook his head and kept walking, now almost to camp. Now he had to report to his leader about this mess. All he had wanted was to go to the warrior den and sleep... [/blockquote] [/blockquote]

OOC: sorry its short... and tell me if it doesnt make sense... ive been at school all day and just got home at like 9:30 and i hav a lot of homework and need to sleep...